Exactly Like iAm

So, I'm sitting in the hotel room and iJust got done watching Juno. omg. that movie is sooo freakin good. It had some good things and elements in it. like selflessness for one. She gave up her baby to someone who really needed it, and i dont think i would have been able to do that. Then, the thing that sticks out the most to me is the comment her dad made. when he said u need to have somebody that will love you for all the things that u are, exactly how you are. that is so deep but at the same time it seems so unreal. iKnow I've loved like that before but see, I'm very open.....iDont know but me, iTend to be needy, i need alot of attention, sometimes i get bitchy (it's all in the genectics thanks to my o-so-generous mother..*sarcasm much?**), iBite my fingernails down to the quick, iHave guitar callous, iListen to music some people have never even heard of, iCan be really bossy, and a know at all, sometimes iPick @ people, and even though iDont mean to some people tell me iHave this air of "I'm better than u". but thats so hard for me to believe because half the time i feel like iNeed to step something up, or iWish i was something else, but them the other half iDont give a damn about anything or anybody. complicated huh? iWear Chuck Taylors, and i have ambitions as a surfer,sk8er. i Freakin love the 80's, iLove cars, and motorcycles, and i desperately wish that i stuck with basketball or at least had somebody to teach me more, considering that fact that i love it sooo much. Not to mention i have a host of the most wierd friends in the world ranging from beauty queens to homos and i love them all. and iGuess u wouldnt exactly put me in the "popular crowd" (wtf is that anyway?) in school, iDont think i'm in any crowd, I'm just there. all these things but together make me pretty wierd. How could i ever expect anybody to love all of that jammed together i mean truly. yea i have a boyfriend and all but he doesnt truly know me. he knows me but not the wierd me. but I'm not talking about a high school boyfriend. I'm talking about the real thing, u know the thing thats supposed to last for a lifetime. sometimes i feel that maybe love is sacrifice, that i might have to adapt the way that i am in order to get what i'm looking for, i dont know. all i'm really looking for is a love that is real. i dont want much. idk, maybe if i spent more time on music instead of thinking about this crap I'd have a grammy by now. and maybe if i put more time in my schoolwork i'd be freakin Steven Banks. idk......