Loose This Skin

This was a letter to my stepmom, u should listen to Skin by Alexz Johnson on my player on the page while u read this. it makes it make sense
next time u and daddy talk about me make sure u tell him to make sure that i cant hear him. and also make sure u ask for the whole story. all since i have been here i have been helping out and doing MORE than what has been asked of me. yea okay i didnt start cleaning the house that very second that day but he just asked me would i like to take up the task and grandma and him said before i leave. they didnt say that same day. maybe if people would give me a time crunch i might actually satisfy him by keeping it. he wants to complain about me sleeping when i have not slept past 11 this whole time i've been here which is good for me. and he failed to mention this morning that it took me 30 minutes to get out of bed becuase i had a major migrane that i still have and he refused to acknowledge. even so i got up and juiced grandmas drinks all by myself and cleaned up the kitchen that he half cleaned the night before which took me all of over an hour and a half. now it was my understanding that juicing and cleaning up was a group effort but i guess he was too busy talking on the phone which he does all day and he's not handling business. or maybe he was paying me back becuase he put up some food after i cooked. AND the only reason i left the food out in the first place was because i cooked for the WHOLE HOUSE and he said he was going to get some. otherwise i would have put it away. plus i dont see what the big deal was anyway because he didnt do much of anything to the kitchen in the first place i had to reclean what he cleaned in the first place. but still it seems that while i'm going above and beyond what he's asking me to do he still has to find a way to critisize me. vacuum the whole house while he was gone including his trifling room and the only one who seems to notice is grandma. and the ipod, the o so hated iPod i was most definitely not ignoring or not paying attention to my grandma. i was cleaning which took like forever and i had the music on while i was cleaning. now if i couldnt hear grandma from the other room because of that i'm sorry i didnt know i had to change my program and clean silently and take longer because i crossed the alabama border. when she called me i most def took the ipod out of my ear and acknowledged her. but i already know how to take care of the hated ipod. and if i seemed perturbed while i was cleaning maybe it was because i hate the way he talks to her. and they constantly fight. i understand that it is hard dealing with her. but she's the one thats dying not him so maybe he should get over himself. nobody in this house should be more stressed than she is. AND I KNOW if i was to talk to him you or anybody else like he talks to her i would be SOOOOOOOO "DISRESPECTFUL" and yea i know there are times when the things that i say are out of line but i never talk to any of you the way he talks to her. i dont care how old he is respect is still respect. how can you dog me out about something that you do worse? then you wanna complain about me cleaning and i sit up and clean something to perfection and u come right behind me despite how grown you are and mess it right up and then get mad at me because i dont clean it. and u wonder whas wrong with me. my daddy treats me and my grandma like a tyrant. I'm so glad I'm coming home. he really shouldnt treat his only company like that because all i have to do is come home. then all he will have to talk to is grandma. and i dont understand how u can ask me why he would wake me up early in one convo and then in the next with him be tottally on his side. THEN for him to say the way i feel about my grandmother is niether here nor there??????????????????? thats just stupid. (sorry if thats disrespectful but i need to vent) my grandmothers dying basically and he thinks i dont notice?? i notice and it hurts which is why i dont mind helping out at all. its my job THATS MY GRANDMA i would do anything that i needed to do but it shouldnt be like it is. its like i help out and it doesnt matter because my daddy still has to lift a finger. thats wrong. and he should not critisize me for doing what he does. he doesnt do anything alllllll day but sleep and talk on the phone. he rarely does homework and from what i see its not because he's so wrapped up in grandma. maybe, if he took his own advice he would be caught up in all his own work. and he is so quick to pass judgement on me and i never judge him. i only state facts when he cant even see that. i never say anything about his mouth towards grandma, i never say anything about the attitude that he has that u cant see unless ur here, i've never judged him on the fact that some of the problem he has with people (i.e uncle g is not all other peoples fault) or even my mom. i never once not once judged him because of the fact that he messed her up. if he wasnt so stupid when he was young and played my mom because he wanted to be like the dirty niggas i mess with now, then maybe my mom wouldnt have kicked my ass, disowned me, called me all kinds of names, lied on me, and basically damaged me because she was really mad at him. maybe if it wasnt for him she wouldnt hate me now. but i never judge him. AND NO I"M NOT SAYING IM AN ANGEL!!! I KNOW WHAT I DO. but still...so next time he wants to talk about me to the only person i feel like i can use as MY sounding board and not HIS. (i.e you)then maybe he should consider all of this. and thats how i feel.